Today I want to screamâ€¦no seriously, I want to scream. My body feels like itâ€™s under attack by the small wonders that I call my children. Sometimes it seems like every minute of every day my body belongs to someone elseâ€¦and I HATE that. As a naturally introverted person, it really freaks me out to be touched ALL THE TIME. Tonight, my husband took one of the kids off to pick up dinner, unfortunately, the other child, who was asked by his dad to put together a Lego set in his absence decided that instead he would fasten himself to may side and demand to know what I was reading on the internet. Then he started making demands about which websites I should go to. Then he wanted to know why I didnâ€™t have an Instagram account. Finally, I had enough, â€œI love you but I just want to not have anyone touching my body. PLEASE read your magazine or a book.â€. Somehow, this worked. It was the third time I asked, but somehow it worked. Small miracles, I know. He is periodically looking at me and saying â€œharrumphâ€ and telling me which books to buy him, but stillâ€¦small victory.
Do those of you who are parents ever have days like this? I miss writing. I miss reading. I miss THINKING. I miss NOT BEING TOUCHED. These are all things that go to the wayside when you are surrounded by tiny dictators throughout the day. For those of you who miss my blog (I hope there are some of you out there), please be patient. Someday I will have the opportunity to put all these ideas in my head on paper. Unfortunately, I have no idea when that will be. My goal is soonâ€¦soon being at some point within the next 30 day period, but you never know. In the meantime, I have to go. The tiny dictator has reattached himself to my arm and is demanding to know what I am typing. If only he knew 😉
Until next time…
2 thoughts on “When your body is not your own…”
I’m a lurker on your blog (and everybody else’s … I rarely comment on anything) but I found it once when I was looking for more grown up blog, something relatable … so here’s one person who’s missing your posts! Aaaanyway I’m commenting this time because I can TOTALLY relate. I’m exactly the same with my kids. My body aches and my nerves are supersensitive when it gets too much. My ex used to tell me I was crazy but I know better now. Still, it’s a great comfort seeing someone else putting these feelings into words. It’s not about the amount of love one has for one’s kids but about the complete loss of control over one’s own body. In combination with a bad conscience and willingness to please the kids, I guess.
I haven’t got a solution but I’m cheering for you. Hoping you’ll get back to writing soon. Hang in there. You are not alone.
It’s been forever, but I loved your comment as soon as I read it. Just didn’t have a chance to reply. Thank you so much for lurking and for reading and for understanding. Knowing people enjoy what I write is amazing validation that toddlers and babies just don’t give. Wishing you the best!!